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The Mettle of the Pasture
64 of 69
"I think I am a bad woman after what has happened to me this morning," said Miss Anna, dazed and ready to break down. He hesitated when he reached the door, smarting with his honest hurt; and he paused there and made a request. "At least I hope that you will never mention this; it might injure me." He did not explain how, but he seemed to know. "Do you suppose I'd tell my Maker if He did not already know it?" She swept past him into the kitchen. "As soon as you have done your work, go clean the parlor," she said to the cook. "Give it a good airing. And throw that cream away, throw the bottle away." A few moments later she hurried with her bowl into the pantry; there she left it unfinished and crept noiselessly up the backstairs to her room. That evening as Professor Hardage sat opposite to her, reading, while she was doing some needlework, he laid his book down with the idea of asking her some question. But he caught sight of her expression and studied it a few moments. It was so ludicrous a commingling of mortification and rage that he laughed outright. "Why, Anna, what on earth is the matter?" At the first sound of his voice she burst into hysterical sobs. He came over and tried to draw her fingers away from her eyes. "Tell me all about it." She shook her head frantically. "Yes, tell me," he urged. "Is there anything in all these years that you have not told me?" "I cannot," she sobbed excitedly. "I am disgraced." He laughed. "What has disgraced you?" "A man." "Good heavens!" he cried, "has somebody been making love to you?" "Yes." His face flushed. "Come," he said seriously, "what is the meaning of this, Anna?" She told him. "Why aren't you angry with him?" she complained, drying her eyes. "You sit there and don't say a word!" "Do you expect me to be angry with any soul for loving you and wishing to be loved by you? He cast his mite into the treasury, Anna." "I didn't mind the mite," she replied. "But he said I encouraged him, that I encouraged him _systematically_." "Did you expect him to be a philosopher?" "I did not expect him to be a--" She hesitated at the harsh word. "I'm afraid you expected him to be a philosopher. Haven't you been kind to him?" "Why, of course." "Systematically kind?" "Why, of course." "Did you have any motive?" "You know I had no motive--aren't you ashamed!" "But did you expect him to be genius enough to understand that? Did you suppose that he could understand such a thing as kindness without a motive? Don't be harsh with him, Anna, don't be hard on him: he is an ordinary man and judged you by the ordinary standard. You broke your alabaster box at his feet, and he secretly suspected that you were working for something more valuable than the box of ointment. The world is full of people who are kind without a motive; but few of those to whom they are kind believe this." Before Miss Anna fell asleep that night, she had resolved to tell Harriet. Every proposal of marriage is known at least to three people. The distinction in Miss Anna's conduct was not in telling, but in not telling until she had actually been asked. Two mornings later Ambrose was again walking through his hall. There is one compensation for us all in the large miseries of life--we no longer feel the little ones. His experience in his suit for Miss Anna's hand already seemed a trifle to Ambrose, who had grown used to bearing worse things from womankind. Miss Anna was not the only woman in the world, he averred, by way of swift indemnification. Indeed, in the very act of deciding upon her, he had been thinking of some one else. The road of life had divided equally before him: he had chosen Miss Anna as a traveller chooses the right fork; the left fork remained and he was now preparing to follow that: it led to Miss Harriet Crane. As Ambrose now paced his hallway, revolving certain details connected with his next venture and adventure, the noise of an approaching carriage fell upon his ear, and going to the front door he recognized the brougham of Mrs. Conyers. But it was Miss Harriet Crane who leaned forward at the window and bowed smilingly to him as he hurried out. "How do you do, Mr. Webb?" she said, putting out her hand and shaking his cordially, at the same time giving him a glance of new-born interest. "You know I have been threatening to come out for a long time. I must owe you an enormous bill for pasturage," she picked up her purse as she spoke, "and I have come to pay my debts. And then I wish to see my calf," and she looked into his eyes very pleasantly. "You don't owe me anything," replied Ambrose. "What is grass? What do I care for grass? My mind is set on other things." He noticed gratefully how gentle and mild she looked; there was such a beautiful softness about her and he had had hardness enough. He liked her ringlets: they were a novelty; and there hung around her, in the interior of the carriage, a perfume that was unusual to his sense and that impressed him as a reminder of her high social position. But Ambrose reasoned that if a daughter of his neighbor could wed a Meredith, surely he ought to be able to marry a Crane. "If you want to see the calf," he said, but very reluctantly, "I'll saddle my horse and we'll go over to the back pasture." "Don't saddle your horse," objected Harriet, opening the carriage door and moving over to the far cushion, "ride with me." He had never ridden in a brougham, and as he got in very nervously and awkwardly, he reversed his figure and tried to sit on the little front seat on which lay Harriet's handkerchief and parasol. "Don't ride backwards, Mr. Webb," suggested Harriet. "Unless you are used to it, you are apt to have a headache," and she tapped the cushion beside her as an invitation to him. "Now tell me about my calf," she said after they were seated side by side. As she introduced this subject, Ambrose suddenly looked out of the window. She caught sight of his uneasy profile. "Now, don't tell me that there's any bad hews about it!" she cried. "It is the only pet I have." "Miss Harriet," he said, turning his face farther away, "you forget how long your calf has been out here; it isn't a calf any longer: it has had a calf." He spoke so sternly that Harriet, who all her life had winced
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